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Caught in the Middle

2006-03-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

Have you experience being caught in the middle, when you can't find escape, whichever way you turn you will end up to the loosing end? That's what I'm in situation now, whenever, whatever the decision i would make, I would never win.

Scars that won't heal

2005-11-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

Early this year I found out about this, my husband has a child to another woman almost same age as my eldest son, though there's a hunch, but when it was finally confirmed, it hurts like hell! This is a revelation I wish i never know, the wound turns to scar, November 1 is the so called birthday of his son to another woman, I felt numb hallow right now, I felt betrayed, hurt and abuse

If Only

2005-10-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

Hay! I'am teary eye right now, I just finished watching the movie If only, starring Jennifer love Hewitt and Paul Nicholls, My Dvd sucks and I watched it for almost three hours because it keep on crampling argh!(pirated hahahha)

PLOT SUMMARY

After his impetuous musician girlfriend, Samantha (Hewitt), dies in an accident shortly after they had a fight (and nearly broke up), a grief-stricken British businessman, Ian Wyndham (Nicholls), living in London gets a chance to relive the day all over again, in the hope of changing the events that led up to her getting killed...

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It was a very touching movie for me, The moral lesson is to show and tell the person we love how we love them,doesn't matter if we only have 5 minutes or fifty years, let's love them like there's no tommorow, we live in our choices and our choices can make our life change completely, In life possibilities are endless so it is important to be the best that we can be, to spread love as much as we can, because we never know till when we can be with the one we love.

Are all the good guys gone?

2005-10-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

I was wondering where all the good guys are, if there's any, Are those guys only exist in novel, movies and dreams? Are they now extinct?

In reality there was no Prince charming neither knight in shining armour, but I'm not asking for both A man who treats woman with respect is enough for me.

When you and your boyfriend had a fight, did you both throw harsh words that you know would hurt each others feeling? I thought most woman do that, but to my experience and to the environment where I was in, most man did that , saying harsh word, and you know what's their excuse? "Ganun lang naman ako, di ka na nasanay sa kin, ganun lng ako magsalita pag galit but I dont really mean that"

And that was Bullshit!!

1. When you're angry you tell what was really in your mind.
2. What you really thought about that person
3. You will never say anything if that's not what you think.

So in other words you really mean it.

No matter if the words came out from anger, the impact of those words cuts deeply to the recipient, it will be kept inside and left a scar that won't heal.

GUys guys....

BUTTERFLY KISSES

2005-10-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

Pause for the dreams, let's get some lyrics,

My dad went to Kuwait when I was twelve, They said I'm a dad's pet, he was there for two years then come back stay with two months then gone again and so on and so forth, I realize that we missed a lot of time we should had spend together, because when he got home, I'm already pregnant and run away with my husband. I thought even when a father could provide financially, there's no other thing than his presence, not that I'm blaming anyone, because I'm not, I know he's sacrifices and I salute him for that, I just felt sorry that the family which is supposed to be always together, needed to be apart for the living, blame it to the economy or what, anyways, here is the song I guess of all the dad's to their daughters

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over&;gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

INSIDE

2005-10-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

I had this dream, there so many twists and turn, I was at the mall (in front to be exact) then I just found myself singing with jay ar as if I was kyla hhaahha, so funny, we are the introduction number of SOP ( every sunday concert show), then in my dreams it's only a dream, ( I was dreaming in my dream hahaha) then there was a scene where we were going to close our eyes and put our hair into our face then wait for the beez to attack us, Weird!

Then I found myself in a room with my husband together with a girl, don't know who she is, then my husband (in my dream he was my ex-husband/boyfriend) then I talk about the bed something like it was broken because of something, then i said i dont wnt to talk about it,because it only reminded me of our past, then a phone rings, not sure if it was a cellphone or what, then it was my husband current girlfriend (i believe in my dream they are engaged and soon to be married) He told me how nice the girl was and the girl was only seventeen, I told him
"Oh my God! ANother life is soon to be ruin!"
He said, "Why? Do I ruin yours?"
I said "Look at me! Do I look like I'm okay?"
He said, " You look okay"
I replied "What you see outside , doesn't mean it's the same inside."

Then i woke up.

FYI: My husband and I are very much married till now, though were apart thousand miles away, though from friday till now we haven't talk with each other because we had an arguement.

STILL

2005-10-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last night my dream was like this; Me, together with my sister in-law and other's which I can't remember went on the house of the wife of my brother in-law. There's this circular stairs needed to climb up first before we can reach the house.

On the last floor there was a little room, I saw my husband wearing yellow polo shirt/shirt reading something. When we was about to leave, I told him that I'm leaving, he just nod and resume on what he was reading, I know deep in me that he was waiting for me to leave then he will call somebody else.

In my dream It was like we are not yet married by then. I told my self, I really wanted to end this relationship, and I'm sick and tired of him,

In my dream I have so many things in my hand, like urinal hehehe, imagine? I have that carrying, then as we are walking I left my slippers, i returned back from where I left it and wear it. the place was secluded and we don't know how to go home.

I also dreamt that there was a bomb about to explode, but we manage to escape before it happens. (I don't know who I am with)

That's all for last night, no Jerry Yan or Lin chiling , too bad hehehe

I really wish there is someone who can translate my dreams

ALMOST

2005-10-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I have a dream, my husband came home from abroad after three years of not seeing each other, We, together with our children check in to the five star hotel. I hug him and told him I missed him so much, he hug me back. I asked him when he will return to abroad, he said his flight is early tomorrow. I told him why that soon? he didn't answer. We went outside just the two of us. I told him , if he was leaving tomorrow then we have to make the best out of the remaining hours, we haven't made out since he came, and I was so eager to do that.

The next scene was we were at the hotel suite, the dawn is breaking so I'm on a hurry, we are in the bed and making out, almost! but he can't perform, I did my best to help him but to no avail. I asked him why, he didn't said anything. I felt devastated, then I asked him if there's anyone else, and then he nod. I felt my heart tore into pieces, I run barefoot out of the hotel, running aimlessly.

Then the morning came, I saw him leaving from the hotel, with the new girl together with our kids, I just cried and watch them leave.

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You know what's weird on that dream?? All of the things are close to reality except for one :
The man in my dreams who supposed to be my husband was not the face of my real husband! the face belongs to none other than!!!!!

JERRY YAN!!!

Can you imagine that? It's really oh! when I thought of it when I woke up, it brings tingle to my spine hahaha, for the love of God!Why can't we just make it and then I could wake up hahahaha

and the new girl, guess who?

It was Lin Chiling!!! can't believe this!

FYI: I'm a great fan of Jerry Yan